Category Archives: 30 Years

Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em

By R.J. | Published: March 27, 2011

Band: MC Hammer Album: Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em Best song: Uh, yeah. Worst song: See above. In the span of my life, 1990 was one of the stranger years in music. A lot of great music came out that year, but they were hardly heard by a lot of people. Instead, the general musical […]

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As Nasty As They Wanna Be

By R.J. | Published: March 20, 2011

Band: 2 Live Crew Album: As Nasty As They Wanna Be Best song: Oh come on. Really? Worst song: See above. I know this sounds condescending, but I want to explain this for fear of sounding like a racist, a moron or some other such bad thing. I dated a girl for a bit who […]

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The Land of Rape and Honey

By R.J. | Published: March 20, 2011

Band: Ministry Album: The Land of Rape and Honey Best song: The title track is epic. “Stigmata” is pretty brutal (in a good way). Worst song: The whole album is worthwhile. As I write this, I’m 30 years. I’m of the philosophy that there’s no time like the present; I think the Internet is our […]

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The Lonesome Jubilee

By R.J. | Published: March 13, 2011

Band: John Mellencamp Album: The Lonesome Jubilee Best song: Awful. None. Worst song: The whole album is poopy. In the pantheon of my early memories, one of the most striking is that of Harold Washington’s death. Harold Washington was Chicago’s first black mayor and an extremely popular mayor, at that. In office for four years, […]

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The Final Countdown

By R.J. | Published: March 6, 2011

Band: Europe Album: The Final Countdown Best song: Title track. Come ON. Worst song: The rest of the record is pretty bad. I’ve already mentioned my lack of early “happy” memories in my bit about 1984, but my absolute earliest memory is that quite simple: Hockey. The earliest clear memory in my head is going […]

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Knee Deep in the Hoopla

By R.J. | Published: February 27, 2011

Band: Jefferson Starship Album: Knee Deep in the Hoopla Best song: It’s really terrible. Worst song: The whole album is pretty bad. I grew up in Cook County, Illinois. As in, the Chicago suburbs. SO, our county didn’t have a fair in the same way that so many rural and suburban counties do. No huge […]

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Reckoning

By R.J. | Published: February 21, 2011

Band: R.E.M. Album: Reckoning Best song: “So. Central Rain” is near-perfect and one of my favorite songs. “7 Chinese Bros.” is great. Worst song: “Little America” isn’t great.” Like a lot people my age, Jim Henson’s creations were a huge part of my youth. Having been partially raised by TV, I watched the tapes of […]

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Flashdance

By R.J. | Published: February 13, 2011

Band: Various Artists Album: Flashdance Best song: Oh, whatever. Worst song: What a dated record. There’s something about memory that’s lovely and nostalgic and a little disjointed. A lot of this project involves my reconstructing memories that don’t quite fit and picking out the things that have stuck out in my early years, on some […]

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Peter Gabriel (Security)

By R.J. | Published: February 6, 2011

Band: Peter Gabriel Album: Peter Gabriel (Security) Best song: “Shock the Monkey” is amazing. Worst song: The whole album is worthwhile. As you can imagine, I don’t remember anything from 1982. It was my first full year on Earth, but, admittedly, I was busy pooping myself and drooling to really understand the context of my […]

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Face Value

By R.J. | Published: January 30, 2011

Band: Phil Collins Album: Face Value Best song: “In the Air Tonight.” Hands down. Worst song: The version of “Behind the Lines” is kind of bad. I tell this story a lot, but when I asked my older sister what it felt like to be 30 (on her birthday), she answered with a very simple […]

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  • About Me

    I'm Ross Jordan Gianfortune. I am not a writer, but I sometimes write here about music and my life. I live in Washington, DC.

    I used to review each of Rolling Stone Magazine's top 500 albums of all time. Now I'm writing about albums I own.

    My work has appeared in The Washington Post, The Gazette, The Atlantic, Sno-Cone and a bunch of defunct zines.

    You can contact me at rjgianfortune at gmail dot com.

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